Why Is It So Hard To Accept Affirmation?

We’re all hungry for it, so let’s be intentional about accepting and embracing affirmation.

Celebrations are important rituals of human life, and whether big or small, there is meaning in each and every one of them.

My birthday happened to be this month (number 60, so it was kind of a big one), but May also included Mother’s Day and my wife Gertrude’s book launch, so there was plenty to celebrate in my world. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m much better at celebrating others than myself. 

This got me thinking. We should celebrate ourselves more and be ok with doing that. We should also allow others to celebrate us and show us affection. I even made this my Social-Emotional Intelligence tip for the month of May.

Embrace Affirmation From Others

This celebration I’m talking about doesn’t always have to be some big thing. It can be something as small as a compliment. What we’re really digging into here is affirmation.

We’re all hungry for acknowledgement and affirmation, but then when many of us get it, we don’t take it in. It’s easy to shrug it off and deflect when someone says something nice to us. When someone shares something heartfelt and meaningful, it’s actually rude not to accept and appreciate it, because by not accepting it, we’re not affirming the other person either. Nobody wins here.

I’m sure you can remember a time when you were affirmed by someone but you shut it down, consciously or maybe unconsciously, because you felt uncomfortable with the acknowledgement. How does that feel looking back? 

Now think about a time when you attempted to affirm somebody and they brushed it off. How did that make you feel?

It feels good to be seen and appreciated. So, when someone offers you praise, accept it. Otherwise, you are much less likely to get another affirmation from them in the future.

Hopefully, this puts affirmation into perspective from both sides. Let’s look at why affirmation is such a powerful concept.

Proven Benefits of Affirmation

Let’s focus on the many positive aspects of affirmation, which include:

• Improved self-esteem and self-confidence.

• Reduced stress, anxiety, and depression for overall better mental health.

• Improved relationships by helping to build empathy and compassion.

• Helps to develop a more positive mindset, which can lead to greater success and happiness.

• Increased motivation and productivity.

• Helps to overcome limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.

• Improved overall well-being by promoting a more positive outlook on life.

With all of these benefits, why wouldn’t we accept affirmations and compliments? It sounds simple enough, but we know this is much easier said than done in the real world. Let’s look at how we change our awareness and behavior related to affirmation. 

Affirmation Takes Practice

Many of us have been conditioned to deflect affirmation. Being humble is one thing; completely dismissing an affirmation is another. 

It’s a skill to gracefully accept an affirmation, so practice this. Take a breath and say “thank you” before anything else. Actually feel it, be vulnerable, and genuinely embrace the love we get from others. Notice your emotional response to accepting an affirmation. It should feel great that someone acknowledges you.

Go forward and affirm!

My wife’s book is called Rewrite The Mother Code (Amazing job Gertrude, I’m so proud of you!). In it, she discusses how mothers shouldn’t be pigeonholed into limited roles that ultimately disempower them, but rather should be valued for their strength as creators of life and empowered to maximize their potential in whichever way they choose. 

Speaking of rewriting the code, we need to reframe our own minds to accept affirmation. Utilize this better understanding of the basics of affirmation to increase your awareness of how it shows up for you in daily life. You will get better at recognizing when it’s happening and how you receive it.

Don’t allow negative thoughts or self-talk to creep in. You are worth celebrating. Whether a birthday, goal achieved, or something else, give yourself some grace and allow yourself to fully accept this positive energy.

Even a simple compliment from someone has meaning for both parties, so sharpen your awareness of when this happens and rewire your brain so that it’s okay to accept and to give compliments. By intentionally improving in this area, even just by a little, we can take big steps toward living a more fulfilling and happy life. 

If I may, great job by you for clicking on and reading this blog post! You made a choice to learn, grow, and maximize your potential. Well done. (Now accept this affirmation!).

For more thoughts and insights, sign up for my newsletter and get The Rich Minute delivered to your inbox each month!